the house im moving into (temporarily) in like, 8 days is huge and the first floor is super nice. and i was like wow this is perf. and then we go into the basement and i was so fucking scared. the basement isnt finished because todds mom doesnt use it so whats the point in spending money on it? it is mortifying. we walked into the bathroom and i nearly burst into tears; it is just like the bathroom in the first Saw film, except smaller.

so i made the decision that ill make my brother watch the film and tell him if he ever pisses me off i will handcuff him to the sink in the bathroom. and i will set up a little tv and make a tape for it with me talking. and i will put a handsaw in a garbage bag a few feet away and leave a note next to him that says “if you can get the saw, you can get out. (:”. but they wont be real handcuffs, just tricky trick ones. and then when he flips shit and tries to cut something off or my mummy gets home, i can just say that all he had to do was press the button to get out.

best sibling award 2012.
(с)